39 years ago, The Rocky Horror Picture Show premiered in London on August 14th, 1975. The film was based on the stage musical The Rocky Horror Show, and boasted many of the same actors such as Tim Curry and the show’s writer, Richard O’Brien. A box office flop at first, the movie soon became a cult classic, paving the way for rambunctious midnight showings complete with audience participation, props and costumes. The trend has shashey’d its way around the planet (shmanet), and now the act of dressing up and participating in a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a a world-wide tradition. That being said, it’s obvious that I’m not alone in my love of the film and the live stage version. Over the years I’ve come to find that The Rocky Horror Picture Show is chalk full of helpful lessons that one can apply in real life. So put on your pink rubber gloves, fishnets, and grab a sensual pencil to take notes. The following are 16 things I learned from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
16. Mickey Mouse ears are a perfectly acceptable thing to wear to bed.
15. Calling someone a “hot dog” is a total burn.
14. When you build a creature to relieve your “tension”, he can only be brought to life with a multitude of colored liquid released from a series of spigots dangling from a chandelier. Science!
13. Heavy petting only leads to trouble and seat wetting.
12. Pelvic thrusts will make you go insane.
11. There are three ways that love can grow: Good. Bad. And mediocre.
10. Life is pretty cheap to those who ride motorcycles.
9. When strangers show up on the steps of your castle, strip them down to their underwear and suggest that you all watch a Steve Reeves movie.
8. 7 days is all it takes to become a “man.”
7. At any given time, a 1950’s greaser boy with only half a brain may burst our of the freezer on his motorcycle. Keep an ax handy to finish him off.
6. In an emergency, lingerie will make a perfectly good bandage for a wound.
5. A triple contact electro magnet will only attract the metal on a wheelchair and no other metal objects that happen to be near by.
4. When your house guests are about to discover that you are an alien, hypnotize them and make them sing and dance in corsets and boas during an elaborate floor-show that turns into a pool orgy.
3. A little bit of mustard will keep you from getting hot and flustered. Maybe she’s referring to Barry Bostwick?
2. If you have ever been wronged, justice can be exacted by using a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti matter.
1. Above all, don’t dream It. Be it.
There you have it! With Halloween around the corner, there is bound to be a showing of the film or a live theatrical presentation of this cult phenomena. Do yourself a favor, be a wild and untamed thing and go see the show…Damn it!