Aaahhhhh… Autumn. The leaves are changing and the temperatures are dropping. We’re breaking out our sweaters, hoodies, hats and tissues. Tissues? Yup. Unfortunately, we’re moving into a cold and flu season that will plague the masses and send many of us to bed to wallow in snot and cough riddled self pity. Well never fear ye of weak immune system! I have you covered with this list of 13 movies to watch while you are sick in bed. Which is where you should be if you are sick, and far, far away from me.
13. The Princess Bride
Ok, you’ve seen it 10 or more times. I know. But why do you watch it so much? Because it’s an awesome movie that makes you feel good about life, love, revenge… and the triumph of the human body over deadly iocane powder. Hey, if Westley can build an immunity to that, you sure as heck can get over your little sniffle, right?
12. Office Space
Hate your job? Work sucks and the only way you can get an extra day off is because a microscopic virus invaded your body and now you are down for the count. Well, don your minimal amount of flair and get your hate out vicariously through this cinematic, cult-status middle finger to The Man.
11. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Ya know, sometimes you just need a day off at any cost and if that means faking it, then that’s what you gotta do. Ferris Bueller has all the right moves to get you that extra day (or nine) that you deserve.
10. Road To Wellville
If you were chronically ill during the turn of the century, you may have found yourself at a sanitarium/spa founded by a breakfast cereal titan, where you receive a daily colonic, hydroelectrical treatments, and genital massages with questionable looking battery powered devices. Whaaaaaaaat? Where do I sign up?
9. Harold and Maude
This romantic, black comedy cult classic explores death, love and what it means to truly be alive. Harold And Maude will lift you up and out of any funk you may be in. Especially if you like the idea of eccentric, elderly women stealing police motorcycles, and hilariously staged suicide attempts.
8. The Royal Tanenbaums
If you worship at the alter of Wes Anderson, you’ve seen this flick a few times. If not, this life affirming and visually pleasing film about tying up loose ends and forgiveness will help you reassess your life as you lay dying of a head cold. Maybe you should call your dad? Or mom. Or that adopted sister you are in love with.
7. Groundhog Day
A narcissistic weather man (Bill Murray) is forced to live the same day over, and over, and over… for years… until he stops being such a self-absorbed ass and starts caring about those around him. This film may help you take a critical look at your own pathetic life and help you see the value of each and every day that you are alive. Why not learn to play the piano? Or master the fine art of ice carving? Once you get over this cold, go forth and shove an entire eclair in your mouth just to see if you can. You only live once!
This movie sucks. Seriously. But with enough cough syrup you may enjoy the sparkly brain rot you get from watching it. Here’s a fun idea: Take some the maximum dosage of Nyquil, and see how long you can stay awake while tripping out on the amazing costumes and Cher’s cheek bones. But try not to think about the fact that the best part of the film, an amazing number with Alan Cumming singing “Thats Life”, didn’t end up in the original release of this mind numbing, glitter splashed tragedy. So why am I recommending this beautiful piece of crap to you? Because of a well placed box of Famous Amos cookies. Amiright ladies and gents?
5. High Fidelity
Maybe you’re not sick at all. Maybe you’re a music snob dealing with a broken and regret filled heart. When Rob (John Cusack) , a record store owner, and compulsive list-maker gets dumped (again), he takes a look at his top five break ups to find meaning to his unlucky in love life. A process that drags him, kicking and screaming, into adulthood. Rob’s direct to the camera pontifications might help you make sense of your own current state of affairs. Or at least get you thinking about whether you are miserable because you listen to pop music, or if you listen to pop music because you are miserable.
4. The English Patient
Romance, war, concealed identities and 3rd degree burns. Who wouldn’t want to watch this while they feel like crap on a shoe? Seriously.
3. So I Married An Axe Murderer
A plucky, romantic comedy about a commitment-phobic beat poet named Charlie Mackenzie (Mike Myers). As soon as things look like they are getting serious, he breaks up with his current lover because “she was in the mafia.” Or “She smelled like soup.” Having met a beautiful butcher, Harriet, he’s determined not to be paranoid. However, thanks to his mother and her insistence that a murder story in The Weekly World News is real, he begins to suspect that Harriet is the Black Widow, an ax murderer who chops her lovers to bits. A perfect sick day movie that if you fall asleep while watching…. meh… she’s not the ax murderer. Oh ooops! Did I spoil the completely predictable plot for you? Your cold meds will help you forget my cruelty.
2. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.
Tim Burtons first feature length film stars Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens) who’s beloved bike is stolen thus sending him on a riotous adventure to find his trusty, mechanical steed. Along the way, he makes friends with various oddball characters, joins a bike gang, visits the Alamo, endures various hallucinatory nightmares, and has a supernatural run-in with a spectral trucker named Large Marge. Goony, and dark, this hilarious film will bring a smile to your puffy, snot-nosed face, and make you ponder the existentialism behind the question “I know you are, but what am I?”
1. Joe Versus The Volcano
Another “I hate my job” flick that gets you right in the feels. Joe (Tom Hanks) is a hypochondriac paper pusher at a petroleum jelly and prosthetic limb factory. After seeing his doctor, he learns that he is dying. Upon learning of his impending death, Joe receives an offer that he finds hard to refuse: Sacrificing himself to the the Big Woo, a volcano on an island, in return for living out the rest of his very short life in the lap of luxury. This is a bit of a fairy tale a bit of love, and a bit of magic. Totally worth watching when you feel like you are at deaths door.
Have any to add? Comment below and go back to bed!
Check out 8 movies to watch on Mother’s Day for movies to watch with your #1 gal!
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